Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Damn victory sex feels great
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
