I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
