What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
