the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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