he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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