4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize