Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize