ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
