Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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