we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i now understand why vodka
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
