We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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