even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
