dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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