Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
