The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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