when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize
