I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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