I showed him my bush... on skype.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My penis needs a shock collar
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
