Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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