we're blogging at a bar
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
