i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.