I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean