if you like me you must not know who I am
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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