Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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