I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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