Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He kissed a someone with a penis
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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