i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
