Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
