Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
