I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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