i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
