My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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