i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
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THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
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Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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