Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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