dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So squirting runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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