i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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