It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
