Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
