I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
