i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
