I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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