Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
