Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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