Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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