Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
