Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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