Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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