That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
