Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize