quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize