Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
