I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
