Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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