i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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