if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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