mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dicks are not precious.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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