They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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