dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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