no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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