There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
