shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
