Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
