Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
